Review of Fuckingmachines

Fuckingmachines
Category: Hardcore Toys/Insertions, Fetish
Monthly Price: $29.95
Review posted August 2, 2005

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I joined Fuckingmachines. I’ve mentioned it several times here at Babes and Toys, and it’s been sitting very high on my “to see” list, but I didn’t really know whether or not the concept of these weird machines doing the fucking rather than a girl with a dildo or a lesbian couple with toys, would actually be a turnon or just good for a laugh.

Turns out I was in for a bit of both actually - but mostly it was just incredibly hot seeing all these beautiful babes getting all their holes pounded from every possible angle and at low, medium and ultra high speed.

Content

The Fuckingmachines archives consist of currently 277 episodes or shoots/scenes with each including typically at least 150 photos and 20-45 minutes of video (usually more than half an hour).
A new episode is added every week.

Each episodes star a single girl (there are occasional lesbian scenes as well), the stage often set in a bar, an office, a bathroom and other places where they can find a good excuse for putting the babe into a sexy outfit.
Quite often you will also find a bondage theme with the action taking place in a dungeon or a similar sinister location, and the girl tied up or even strapped into a hanging harness or turned upside down.
It’s generally not taking to extremes where you need to be a real bondage fan to appreciate it though. I’m not and I really liked many of those episodes.

The core of the action is introducing the girl to an assortment of fuckingmachines (there is a special page dedicated to them - over 40 in total and with very memorable names) - and I think the term power tools (or toys) is more than appropriate for most of them.
Many of them are devilishly clever thought out machinery with powerful engines and some big, thick dildos strapped to the end of their metal arms.
Seeing a huge ten inch dildo relentlessly hammering into a soaking pussy or an asshole once the chick really gets the juices flowing and turns up the speed, is incredibly hot.

I’ve been through a good part of the Fuckingmachines archives over the last few days (glancing over the videos - I would be entertained for a good deal longer if I watched them in full), and so far I think my favourite fuckingmachine will have to be The Twinserter. The name says it all - two big dildos each at the end of their own metal arm, and each being driven tirelessly and deep into the pussy and ass of the poor girl (and they usually have a lovely mixed impression of intense pleasure and surprise and disbelief :)).

Video/Photo Quality

While I genuinely loved all the wonderful and very unique hardcore content at Fuckingmachines, the quality department is one where it will have to suffer a little in the scores.

While photos are in an acceptable resolution of around 500×800 (most of us don’t use a vertical screen resolution of more than 800 anyway) and the photography fairly good, the videos do not quite match up to most of the other sites I have reviewed here at Babes and Toys so far.
Downloadable video is available in the commonly used Windows Media format (WMV) - but the quality is just barely acceptable in these days of high speed broadband connections. Around 350 kbit which equals a 320×240 resolution. Passable for full screen viewing - but just barely.
As a comparison the current technology forerunner in the adult business, VideosZ (read my review here) is now offering their lowest quality downloads at 500 kbit, with 1000 and 2000 kbit also available.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that Fuckingmachines use Real Player video format for their streaming videos (and also the for the downloadable versions of the oldest movies in the archives - fortunately limited).
I never use streaming at porn sites but always download the movies, but choosing the awful Real Player for anything should be a criminal offense in my opinion :).

As Fuckingmachines is very much a one of a kind site with close to zero competion in this unique niche, they can get away with it, but I certainly hope they will reconsider the quality and format issues seriously in the near future.
From what I understand though, they are in the process of reencoding their oldest movies to the Windows Media format, so at least that’s a step in the right direction.

Final Comments

The heavy criticism on quality aside, Fuckingmachines is definately a very unique site with excellent and plentyful hardcore content that I won’t hesitate for a second recommending to all lovers of toy/masturbation porn (in the hardcore and slightly bizarre end).

It’s also clear they are very interested in feedback from the members, and I think this is only the second porn site I’ve seen where members can leave comments on every video/photo episode. And they certainly take advantage of this - praise, criticism, comments on the girls, the scene, the lighting - you name it.
This could turn into a horrible pile of bickering and rude comments like it so often does on the Internet, but the comments are generally respectful while not holding back if there is anything to critizise.

Definately a site worth your attention.

Scores

Final Score: 86/100

(Review scores explained)

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